There will be a distinct Last Supper atmosphere at uni this week. After the NCTJ exams (joy, joy, JOY), that's it. End of story. We all go back to where we come from. I'm sure we'll keep in touch - we're all each others' first contacts after all. But it won't be the same as travelling on the rollercoaster journey we've been on.
These are the people I have spent an unhealthy amount of time with over the last nine months - and I will miss them very much. This blog post is a tribute to the guys, gals and teachers who have made my time in Preston a hoot.
For those of you who aren't aware, I've nearly completed my postgraduate diploma in newspaper journalism at the University of Central Lancashire. Like most postgrad courses, it's been extremely intense. Sort of like being shot from a cannon. The first few weeks, I didn't know what had hit me.
In theory, it looked like it was going to be a ghastly year. Up at six every morning, leave the house at quarter past seven, arrive in Preston at half eight. 15 minute walk from the station to the campus into a room where Delwyn Swingewood made each of us believe at some point or another that we had chosen the wrong career path.
"What the fuck's this?"
"I don't understand what this means."
"'While', not 'Whilst'! How many more times?"
"Exclamation marks. We call them dogs' dicks."
"Who do you think you're working for, the FT? What have we said about sloppy copy?"
"There are journalists who drink and journalists who get drunk. Make sure you're not the latter."
"You're not Jane Austen. Just get on with it."
I now realise this was part of the psychology of the course's structure. Delwyn and Mike Williams (our other teacher - more about him later) had to knock the corners off us and reshape us into efficient news reporters.
We quickly learnt to become word Nazis - adjectives, council bullshit terms and jargon were public enemies one, two and three. I think I speak for all of us on the course when I say there were some pretty dark moments. Copy was returned looking like a road traffic accident, Delwyn's furious scribbles obscuring sentences you had so lovingly (and successfully, you hoped) constructed.
But god, it did us good. By Christmas, I knew instinctively what made a snappy intro and was learning all the time where words could be dropped or substituted for something more succinct. I still have a lot to learn. In fact, I don't think you can ever stop learning in this job because you're dealing with different people and different stories every day. That's one of the reasons I feel privileged to do it for a living. (note to self: that statement may work better when I actually have a job).
Delwyn took us through the ropes most of the time, complete with 'as an actor said the bishop' jokes and witty repartee with members of the class. It's no surprise that Delwyn worked on Private Eye. Satire reigns wherever he goes. From day one, despite it being a really tough course, I've laughed a lot. It's one of the things that kept me going.
Mike Williams taught us every Monday. His approach was slightly different - classes were more informal, and a welcome change from Delwyn's constant bollockings (these lessened as the year went on, thankfully).
Mike is a Fleet Street veteran - he's had executive roles on The Sunday Times, The Independent and The Independent on Sunday and writes for the Daily Mail. He also worked on Today with Colin Myler. His contact book includes His Majesty Paxman. Enough said.
Despite his busy schedule, Mike visited us northern monkeys at the beginning of every week and did all he could to help with advice he's picked up over the years, writing tips and what was, for me, a reminder of what I'm in this for: to get to London as soon as possible and hit the big time.
Hearing Mike's stories of insane news rooms and the buzz of the capital made me keep going during hard times when I felt like packing it in and getting a part-time job as a dinnerlady instead. Who said the best things are ever the easiest?
This blog post would not be complete without a tribute to Pat Brand, our shorthand teacher. She is a nag. She is relentless. She is wonderful.
I passed my 100 words a minute exam almost exactly five months to the day that I started the course because Pat was, and I say this with the greatest respect and gratitude, a slave driver, setting us ridiculous amounts of homework and publicly humiliating anyone who didn't do it.
I don't care that she worked us ridiculously hard - we weren't there to socialise. In fact, one of her party lines is "Come on, you're not here to enjoy yourselves." Although surprisingly, once she had beaten us into submission, we did have a laugh and a joke with her. She's ace.
Here are my tributes to my coursemates. Guys, it's been emotional. I've enjoyed working with you all and will genuinely miss your company. Thanks for putting up with me during production - I know I can be an over-emotional diva sometimes, but you all coped marvellously. I wish you every success in the future. Keep in touch!
In alphabetical order:
Aidan Hanratty
A perfectionist with a constantly enquiring, analytical mind. Whoever came up with the saying 'The Devil is in the detail' must have had Aidan in mind - he'll correct anyone on anything. Extremely knowledgeable about his music (does his own mixes) and a whizz on computers. He's helped me with IT related matters many a time, for which I'm very grateful. Cheers Chief.
Alison Stacey
I knew I loved this girl when she dressed up as a skeleton - and pulled it off. She works hard and plays hard - it's always fun to see what post-weekend injuries she'll roll in with on Monday morning (the latest involved falling into a bush, for which she had two tribal scratches to show). Came up with some cracking exclusives on The Courant, and will definitely go far in the national press. She also let me stay at her place during placement, which was jolly nice of her.
Alma Stewart-Burgess
Possibly the only person on the course who can make me laugh so much I run the risk of crying and/or incontinence. Alma is not only, in my opinion, one of the best journalists in the class (put her down in a strange town, she'll have five stories an hour later) but a comedienne and holistic therapist, which makes her fascinating company. She's done the course with two kiddywinkles at home - god knows how, I've struggled and I only have myself to look after. I really respect her for that and thoroughly enjoyed working with her on placement at the Lancashire Evening Post.
Beth Taylor
One of my closest friends on the course, I will miss Beth very much. Pretty much from day one we've been good pals, dissecting the events of the day on the walk to the train station and, more recently, spending many hours in contented silence revising. She's a bloody good mate, always there when you need her, and, I am delighted to say, the first in the class to get a job! So pleased for her - very much deserved. Stay in touch, douche bag. x
Callum D'Souza
Callum has dealt very well with being the only Southern Fairy (he hails from Southampton) among us clog wearing lot. It's a wonder he can understand what any of us are ever saying! A tenacious, determined journalist, I'm sure he'll get where he deserves to be.
Chris Terris-Taylor
So laid back, he's almost horizontal. Not much ruffles Chris's feathers, and he made a welcome contrast in the newsroom to mine and Alma's manic energy. A genuinely nice guy who will talk to anyone about anything. Into his gangsta rap - which I'm not, but I was grateful for your advice about that profile on Eminem back in October! Good luck in whatever you do.
Dave Mercer
The best editor you could hope for, Dave will always be remembered as a 'chilled out entertainer'. He ran The Courant with military precison, but somehow managed to more or less keep us all on an even keel, guiding us through tough times, deadlines that seemed impossible and giving us motivational talks just when we needed them. He did all this without ever being annoying (something I would never have managed). He worked damn hard too, staying until 4am some nights when we'd long gone. Much appreciated, Mercenary.
Emma Shahsvar
Is it a hurricane? Is it a foghorn? No. It's Emma Shahsvar and her hundreds of opinions, questions and polemic (complete with Jerry Springer indignant hand gestures). Whatever Emma does, she does it with the force of an outboard motor, powering along until before you know it, she's taken over and is running the show. Her controversial comments have been the source of much entertainment this year, and I think with that amount of vigour, Emma could probably do anything she set her mind to - and still be home in time to feed Winston, her beloved moggy.
Hannah Bargery
Barge, Barge Face, Argy-Bargy - Hannah's taken her fair share of nicknames this year. A couple of the lads have also taken to calling her 'Easter Egg head' - something I've still not quite got my own head round, but regardless, Hannah takes it all in good humour. You won't find a more down-to-earth, friendly, sunny soul - or a more dedicated Everton fan. She also shares my love for River Island clothes, which is always the mark of quality in a person's character. I didn't work with her during production, but my sources tell me she was excellent, and I can believe it.
James Illingworth
James and I have shared many a morning joke as early birds on the stupidly early trains that get in early from Ormskirk and Manchester respectively. James is very calming in a crisis - his deadpan, dry humour always makes me chuckle, and cheers me up about whatever I happen to be wringing my hands over. We've had good natured debates about feminism (he attemped to read The Female Eunuch, but gave up when it went into female anatomy. Persist, James! Germaine has much to teach you.) A great journalist, whether it's local tales about golliwogs (for which he has the copyright) or sport stories. A ruddy lad who I will miss.
Jamie Field
Take a few ill-timed jokes, a scatter-gun approach to subbing and throw in some innuendoes, and you are a step closer to understanding what it is like to work with this legend. Mr Field, I will miss your war stories about hitchhiking to Preston from Chesterfield. A source of wonderment and intrigue to us all. Have fun in Shanghai - via Blackpool Pleasure Beach, you mentalist!
Jenny Foulds
This girl is great at what she does - if only she'd believe it and big herself up more often. She fretted she had no stories for our last edition, then nailed the splash. Confidence, girl! You can and will succeed. Jenny has the patience of a saint, and has calmed me down on many an occasion when I've gone off on a rant. More importantly, she is an excellent listener; something every good journalist needs to be. She's off to bigger and better things in bonny Scotland, and I wish her all the best.
John Henry Robinson
Sarcastic, witty and fantastic at coming up with hilarious headlines. I'm very jealous of John's ability to coast along doing very little, pulling results out of the bag nonetheless. He has a rebellious streak which will stand him in good stead in this job - questioning authority and holding people to account are a big part of what it's all about. I'll never forget your trademark Dennis the Menace hoodie. Think you've worn it every day except possibly when we went to court.
Kev Rawlinson
'Le Kev', so called because of his love for all things Frog, will be on the nationals before you can say Byker Grove. He is possibly the most ambitious person on the course, applying for jobs while most of us were still finishing Easter eggs. A word of advice, though. Don't go to Kev if you want a yes or no answer. This guy can talk! All joking aside, I'm fond of Kev and his rambling explanations, where you forget the original question you asked him. Definitely one to watch - my guess is that he will go far.
Lisa Storey
The 'mother hen' of the class with a wicked sense of humour behind the seemingly quiet reserve. A few glasses of vino and all sorts of wonderfully smutty jokes emerge. An excellent journalist, although I bet if I said that to her she'd go all modest. She's been very kind to me when I've had down days, and I always appreciate her no-nonsense approach to problems. She's not afraid to defend the under-dog, which in a class of unmitigated egos is a rare quality to have.
Matt Monaghan
The Brent Meister General Extraordinaire. He has me in hysterics on the train journeys home (which I've most enjoyed and will dearly miss), as well as being a really good friend when I need advice about professional or personal matters. He does all this with the most waspish, witty sense of humour and I thoroughly enjoy his company. Oh yes, and he's a brilliant journalist. Nosy, persistent and an excellent nose for hard news. He's going to be tremendous wherever he goes.
Philippa West
I could definitely learn a thing or two from Philippa. She is confident, assertive and talented, but goes about her business unconcerned with what anyone else says or does with an air of self-assuredness that is far more effective than my stormy Mediterranean outbursts. A journalist who will not give up until she finds her next story, Philippa worked really hard for The Courant and was a valuable member of the team as someone we knew would just 'get on with it.'
Tom Collins
I boast the title of 'Tom Collins Expert' when it comes to this man, as I had to write a profile about him in the first week of the course. If only I knew then what I know now! A real team player, he put in some killer shifts as Chief Sub on The Courant. And he accompanied me to speed dating, something he wanted to do about as much as I would play football. Still, he did it, and was the perfect gentleman. Didn't we have a laugh in that dive of a casino? He cracks me up with his dismissive comments regarding my girly frivolities - a typical Yorkshire man with a deadpan sense of humour that I will miss.
Victoria Clayton
Victoria is one cool customer. I've never once seen her flapping or panicking - she just seems to coast through a day at a time without worrying too much. I would love to know how this is done, as it would do wonders for my blood pressure. Victoria has many different sides and voices, which make her an intriguing, humourous presence in the newsroom. I see her wearing fabulous cashmere suits and writing artistic reviews for The Observer.
ENDS
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